Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Gratification: Percolated or Instant?

Albert Einstein once said, “Space and time are modes by which we think, not conditions under which we live.” That Einstein’s a smart one, ain’t he? It’s easy to see what Mr. Einstein was talking about with an example. You’re sitting in a class in which the teacher is droning on and on about, let’s saaay, Antarctican history. Now you might think that Antarctica’s history goes something like, “Beginning of time-2012: Freezing cold. Penguins be there. Maybe a Walrus but who knows. We don‘t know how to use Google.” But actually, it has a quite extensive history but that isn’t the point. You really don’t care to hear about it so you look at the clock and it’s 11:43. Okay, not so bad. There’s only 17 minutes left to class so you sit there for what feels like 7 hours. You look at the clock again expecting to see that this douchebag went way past the end of class. To your dismay, the clock mocks you with a reading of 11:46! HA HA! At this rate, you’ll be stuck there for eternity! On the flip side, if you’re spending time with your significant other and really enjoying it, time throws on its red and white shoes and goes Sonic the Hedgehog on your ass.
The blue anthropomorphic personification of time when you’re having fun
Gratification is a feeling of pleasure, enjoyment, delight, etc. It’s that feeling you get when you open a book to the exact page you wanted or when you build a 6-foot tower of cards and it doesn’t collapse. Hell, even building a 1-foot tower would make me feel like I just conquered Everest. Gratification comes in 2 forms, which are delayed gratification and instant gratification. Delayed gratification is seen as virtuous whereas the instant version is not seen as such. When one invests much time and effort into a particular venture, project, or whatnot, they’ll feel a bigger sense of accomplishment than one who laid around on their ass all day doin’ diddly (that sounds kinda dirty…please don‘t do that) and got the same result.

Those of you against instant gratification, I ask you this: When you eat a monster load of Mexican food, then have to drop a monster load of Mexican food, which type of gratification would you prefer?

There’s a rumor going around that claims man invented time. If man did NOT invent time, then there would be no distinction between delayed and instant gratification as they would both exist in the same continuum! Ah HA! Don’t you see how much time messes us up?! You are a slave to time! Here’s how you can tell time to kiss your ass. Take every watch, clock, phone, and sundial you own and chuck that crap into the ocean. You will never be “5 minutes late” or wait on Amusement Park ride lines for 6 hours because everything that is, has been, or will be exists at the same um……uh….time….

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